3RD ULTIMATE GOAL WEIGHT REACHED!!!! HEIGHT: 6'0---CW: 113---NEW UGW: 112---80 LBS LOST...1 LB TO GO!
my_only_weigh
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Name: Anne
Country: Canada
Metro: Ottawa
Gender: Female


Interests: Being healthy but maintaining my size....is it possible?
Expertise: Screwing up and gaining weight.
Occupation: Student
Industry: Education/Research


Message: message me
Website: visit my website


Member Since: 5/1/2005

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Thursday, January 12, 2006

If anyone cares anymore... my "new" Xanga (it's about 2 or 3 months old) is BrokenButterfly9 .. I'm not doing so well.


Tuesday, September 06, 2005

Hi girls,

Just thought I'd update you on what's going on with me. Firstly, I've been seeing the doctor every week and each week I've been drinking more and more water before the visit. I drank almost 3 litres of water before today's visit, which had me tipping the scales an extra 3 lbs heavier than last week. I've been eating a lot of fruits and vegetables and having my mom cook up grilled chicken for my protein so my calories have been able to stay relatively low. With the start of school I'm able to skip most lunches and munch on 2 mini carrotsticks. I've had a lot more problems with bingeing lately. I keep switching frame of minds and tonight I just completely crossed the line. I went to the gym and when I got back I had a tiny bowl of cereal, and then another tiny bowl of cereal. Then out of nowhere I dove into my refrigerator and ate a whole cup of pudding (110 calories). It didn't taste that good, the whole time in my head I was shouting to stop and by the end I felt like I was gonna die. I ran upstairs to "shower" quickly and purge it up. I could hardly get half up before I noticed a streak of red in my stomach acid/saliva. I decided to stop the purging attempt at that point. So now I'm sitting here with at least an addition 200 calories to my 250 calorie intake today with 5 lbs extra water weight on top of that. I feel like utter shit. I look like utter shit. I am utter shit.

Haven't been to the hospital yet and because I've been "gaining weight", they haven't been as concerned. I've been concerned though. Almost every second night i go through a mini-binge and brush it off as "recovery". How much longer can I take of this self-hatred and guilt? Ana's slipping away from me but I need her so much. My size 0's are still loose on me yet I feel like I'm that size 14 monster again. And after tonight, it won't take much longer until I'm back on the overeater's bandwagon.

Had to get that off my chest. Now I just need this fat off my ribs and we're set.

Anne


Friday, August 26, 2005

I know I said I wouldn't update but I suppose I should let you know if there's any new revelations/progress.

A nurse called from CHEO today. There's a 4-month waiting list for an assessment at the Eating Disorders clinic (which would be great for me since I could still do modeling) but they got the results back from my ECG test and I have a heartbeat of 44 beats/min which is way low. My heartbeat's also irregular and it's so messed that I may have cardiovascular damage. I'm not allowed to exercise at all, have caffeine or eat when I'm not being monitored due to the fact that I could drop dead at any second. I'm being skipped ahead of all the other patients and most likely go into hospital for a full day of testing next week.

Whoever said that I wasn't trying to recover should maybe realize that if I don't recover I could be dead by the first day of school. Watch what you say, please.


Thursday, August 25, 2005

I'm going through a really hard mental phase right now. Last night I had a nervous breakdown when I thought about going to the hospital and burst into my mom's room in tears saying I was scared. I'm scared of so much...scared they'll take away my modeling, take away all that I've worked for for the past year, take away my bones. My mom's going to talk to the doctor on Monday and try to get me out of CHEO's ED program. I can handle going to the doctor every week but I can't handle the hospital.

With all this stress and confusion, I'm going to stop updating for a while. I don't know if this Xanga is good or bad for me and I just need a break. Thank you for your continued support and I'll let you know how this story ends...if it ever does. I love you all and stay strong <3

Anne


Hey girls,

Well I found my weights for goign to the doctor and they'll fit perfectly under my clothes. I went to the Central Canada Exhibition today with my mom (the Ex) and we walked around but I was super weak so I actually had a whole wheat chicken wrap. I unwrapped most of it so I had only half the pita and the rest was just lean cold cut chicken (40 cals), mustard and veggies. Even skipped the cheese and dressing.

For all you thinking I'm going to die from drinking water...read on...(article written by Stew Smith, one of my personal trainers).

Can Too Much Water be Bad for You?

                                                     by www.StewSmith.com

 

"This week, a concerned Army Reservist asks, “I have heard about people dieing of drinking too much water. Is this possible?”  This is a great question because so many times this issue is taken out of context causing people to stop drinking water altogether. 

 

When you read about people who die or get kidney damage “from drinking too much water” you are only hearing half of the story.  The other half of the story is often overlooked.  These people die or are seriously injured internally from over-hydration with insufficient replacement of sodium, which is called dilutional hyponatremia.   The documented cases are from participants in long distance running or ultra endurance events lasting longer than four hours of continuous, sweaty, activity.  Sports replacement drinks mixed with water are the best source of electrolytes and can be of significant help in avoiding hyponatremia in long distance athletic events or long, hot and humid days of rigorous outdoor work. 

 

The regular person in America, who does not exercise at all or that rigorously, needs water to lose weight.  If the body does not receive adequate amounts (1-2 quarts a day), you will actually start to retain water causing a net gain in weight and the liver to cease metabolizing fat at a normal rate.  Basically, your metabolism will slow to a point where fat and water is now being store by the body UNTIL it receives the proper amounts of water.  An easy equation with the elements of weight loss is:

 

Water + Oxygen = Weight loss 

 

Drinking water plus physical activity where you breathe at a higher heart rate (ie aerobic activity like walking, jogging, swimming, biking, resistance training etc,) will ultimately lead to weight loss.  Not only will you release retained water – ending the bloated and puffy feeling, but your metabolism will burn fat at a higher rate than before you started adding sufficient water intake to your diet.  If you are significantly overweight (50-100lbs), you need to add more water to your diet than the minimum recommended daily amount.  Some experts agree that the intake should be another 6-8 oz. of water for every 10-20 lbs overweight. 

 

The bad news is that coffee, tea, diet drinks, alcohol, and nicotine are diuretics meaning they actually will dehydrate you.  These drinks should not count as your 1-2 quarts a day of daily water consumption.  If you think you maybe retaining water, try adding up to a gallon of water a day and you could lose about five to ten pounds of retained water in a few short days.  I have seen people lose up to twenty in a week by ONLY adding water to their diet.  "

 

 



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